Nuance and Neuroses

If you're a blogger (as I am), and you are inconsistent at producing content (as I am), as well as a procrastinator (who, me?!?), it is likely you often go through "blogger's guilt." My inner monologue goes a bit like this: Oh man, I haven't blogged in awhile. I really should write something. Ehh, it hasn't been THAT long; I don't have to feel too guilty just yet. I'll really think about it though. Okay, it's been over a month. No one will read my blog if I don't update more frequently. What should I write about? I don't have anything to talk about. Okay, wait, I have an idea. I'll start a post. Wait, I'm tired/I have to shower/I have to get back to work; I'll finish later. Oh wait, I have another idea. I'll start a post. Wait, my room is dirty/Futurama is on/I have to put on pants; I'll finish later. Now I have 6 posts in draft in various stages of completion. Some have 3 paragraphs, some have 2 sentences,...

More to come on my newest online dating venture at OkCupid, but I had to share this. OkCupid stays free because it has advertising galore. Which I'm okay with. I'll put up with some ads in order to join the site for free. In fact, when there are ads like the following, I even enjoy it! Find a date, but don't give them chlamydia! Order a free test online now. It's nice that their ads are so targeted.

See previous post for Nick the Nice Guy Part 1. Obviously. It was after the second date when no sparks were flying, no kissing was occurring, that I started thinking, well maybe I'm not feeling it because he's being too much of a gentleman... He hasn't made any sort of physical move on me. Maybe if we get a little physical, I'll start feeling the sparks. Maybe I have to create the sparks... maybe they won't just come to me. So I started turning on the flirt. Giving not-at-all-subtle hints that he could get a little more.... aggressive.... with me.  Hi, red flag. Nice to meet you. As any heterosexual male would do when opportunity smacks him in the face, he accepted the offer. On our third date, we went to a bar close to where he lived. He didn't seem too keen on staying there long. Go figure. And guess what? My brilliant plan had not succeeded. Despite getting physical, I still was not feeling feelings. Are you surprised? All that happened was tha...

If a guy's really nice, and not awful looking, and clearly really likes you, it's a good thing, right? What if you've gone out with him a few times, and never felt that "spark"? How long do you give it before you figure out if you are ever going to be interested, or if it's a lost cause?  I write about date night horror stories a lot, because they're way funnier than the stories about guys who just sort of fizzled out. But in the spirit of balanced reporting, I submit to you the story of Nick the Nice Guy. I'm kind of experiencing a similar situation with someone else right now... so I'm looking for a little clarity on this type of experience. Nick the Nice Guy: Part 1 Dating site: JDate Fake name : Nick (the Nice Guy) Age : 23 Job : Counselor, works with kids and teens. Time frame : January and February of 2010 When I started chatting with Nick, I was very excited. Based on the pictures, he was cute, and had a similar sense of humor as...

I should buy this t-shirt and wear it underneath my clothes on every date with guys I meet online. Just in case.

My subscription to Match.com ends today, February 13th. How appropriate.* I don't actually care all that much about Valentine's Day. It's always been more about the candy for me than the men. Even when I had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day, I didn't do romantic things. I sat onstage with a bunch of other women and talked about vaginas. I performed The Vagina Monologues in college each year on Valentine's Day. That must have been fun for my ex, to watch a girl power lovefest onstage on the most romantic day of the year. Regardless, being single on Valentine's Day sucks. So I'm going to buy myself some candy and watch Castle . Mmmm, Nathan Fillion, you can be my valentine. *PS: I have decided to renew my subscription. For you, the readers. I only started this blog a few months ago. It'd be a shame to waste such fabulous writing potential.** **PPS: Also Match offered me 6 more months for half the price.

You would think that if you've taken the time, and maybe the money, to do online dating, you would actually want to find some measure of success. Based on some of the things I've seen on guys' profiles on Match, this is in fact not the case. So here is a list of the top 5 stupid things that I have seen guys write. All excerpts are real, unmodified (for the most part) passages from male profiles on Match.com. 5. Sarcastic "fake" profiles This is when guys apparently think it is funny to create a completely fake (at least I hope, dear Lord I hope) profile. Either they are doing it to show their equally mature male friends with no intention of getting a response, or they hope some girl will find it funny. Exhibit 5:    I will pay you if you date me! I am clingy, jealous, and have terrible hygiene. I hate activities. Also, I cry a lot...especially at barbecues (i don't know why). Interesting fact: I love exotic foods. When I was 12 I ate my little sis...

The good thing about keeping a blog is that going on a date is win-win. If it's a good date, that's awesome, but if it's a bad date, I have more inspiration for the blog. From this, you may have gathered that tonight's date was of the "bad" variety. It wasn't a dating horror story, and no one was seriously injured, but as dates go, this one was a definite fail. The lead-up to the actual date was a bit like the Jaws theme song. Subtle, but the observant ones see the signs. The smart ones listen to the signs. The lonely single ones willfully ignore them. It started, as it usually does, with a (Match.com) wink. I winked because he seemed sensitive (he writes music, he's in a band) and like he could be cute. As we emailed back and forth, there emerged some slight, shall we say, idiosyncrasies. It started with some odd phrasing, some metaphors that seemed out of place in casual email conversation. We set a date to meet and started discussing...