Nuance and Neuroses

Let’s just put it out there. I'm Jewish. And I freely admit it: Hanukkah ain’t got nothing on Christmas. Don't get me wrong. We really do appreciate your efforts to make us feel included! It's nice that you say "Happy holidays" sometimes instead of "Merry Christmas," though I don't know know any Jews who would be offended to be wished a merry Christmas. You wouldn't be offended if someone wished you a happy Hanukkah, would you? Society does try to include us Jews in December festivities. Most of the larger chain stores have a section with menorahs, dreidles, a Hanukkah card or two - even if it's one shelf among the aisles upon aisles of trees and lights and wreaths and Santa hats. Usually the 24/7 Christmas radio stations throw us an Adam Sandler bone once in awhile (not literally... ew). You try to deny what everyone knows but won’t say – Hanukkah just isn’t as cool as Christmas. Not that it's a contest. Of course. I like bei...

5:30 pm: At work. About to leave to start getting ready for my date. Receive text message from boy canceling plans for the evening. Reason cited: work. 5:32 pm: Debate sending all manner of passive aggressive text messages. Some aggressive aggressive options cross my mind. 5:34 pm: Settle on the mature and less fun option. No aggression of any kind. My therapist would be proud. 6:48 pm: Forced to leave work by the last person in the building who has a key to lock up. 7:07–7:08 pm: Get home. Get mail. Reduced rate on my car and renter's insurance! Woo hoo! YOU'LL always love me, RIGHT, KITTY?! 7:09 pm: Walk in door. Pick up cat. OMGKITTYIMISSEDYOU! DID YOU MISS ME? YES YOU DID, OH YES YOU DID!!@!1 YOU'D never cancel plans on me, right, kitty?! Put all of my misplaced emotions into cat. My therapist would not be proud. 7:23 pm: Forced to stop checking Facebook and icanhascheezburger by my growling stomach. Laziness outweighed by hunger. 7:24 pm: Stare...

If you're a blogger (as I am), and you are inconsistent at producing content (as I am), as well as a procrastinator (who, me?!?), it is likely you often go through "blogger's guilt." My inner monologue goes a bit like this: Oh man, I haven't blogged in awhile. I really should write something. Ehh, it hasn't been THAT long; I don't have to feel too guilty just yet. I'll really think about it though. Okay, it's been over a month. No one will read my blog if I don't update more frequently. What should I write about? I don't have anything to talk about. Okay, wait, I have an idea. I'll start a post. Wait, I'm tired/I have to shower/I have to get back to work; I'll finish later. Oh wait, I have another idea. I'll start a post. Wait, my room is dirty/Futurama is on/I have to put on pants; I'll finish later. Now I have 6 posts in draft in various stages of completion. Some have 3 paragraphs, some have 2 sentences,...

More to come on my newest online dating venture at OkCupid, but I had to share this. OkCupid stays free because it has advertising galore. Which I'm okay with. I'll put up with some ads in order to join the site for free. In fact, when there are ads like the following, I even enjoy it! Find a date, but don't give them chlamydia! Order a free test online now. It's nice that their ads are so targeted.

See previous post for Nick the Nice Guy Part 1. Obviously. It was after the second date when no sparks were flying, no kissing was occurring, that I started thinking, well maybe I'm not feeling it because he's being too much of a gentleman... He hasn't made any sort of physical move on me. Maybe if we get a little physical, I'll start feeling the sparks. Maybe I have to create the sparks... maybe they won't just come to me. So I started turning on the flirt. Giving not-at-all-subtle hints that he could get a little more.... aggressive.... with me.  Hi, red flag. Nice to meet you. As any heterosexual male would do when opportunity smacks him in the face, he accepted the offer. On our third date, we went to a bar close to where he lived. He didn't seem too keen on staying there long. Go figure. And guess what? My brilliant plan had not succeeded. Despite getting physical, I still was not feeling feelings. Are you surprised? All that happened was tha...

If a guy's really nice, and not awful looking, and clearly really likes you, it's a good thing, right? What if you've gone out with him a few times, and never felt that "spark"? How long do you give it before you figure out if you are ever going to be interested, or if it's a lost cause?  I write about date night horror stories a lot, because they're way funnier than the stories about guys who just sort of fizzled out. But in the spirit of balanced reporting, I submit to you the story of Nick the Nice Guy. I'm kind of experiencing a similar situation with someone else right now... so I'm looking for a little clarity on this type of experience. Nick the Nice Guy: Part 1 Dating site: JDate Fake name : Nick (the Nice Guy) Age : 23 Job : Counselor, works with kids and teens. Time frame : January and February of 2010 When I started chatting with Nick, I was very excited. Based on the pictures, he was cute, and had a similar sense of humor as...

I should buy this t-shirt and wear it underneath my clothes on every date with guys I meet online. Just in case.