Blizzard Blogging

Whoops I only published one post in 2015. Since I'm home alone with my cat, here is my stream-of-consciousness during #Blizzard2016 (hashtagging on blogs is cool and useless).

So far this is Blizzard 2016:

Jack's tongue is part of the appeal.

Earlier I wished I was snowed in with someone but then I started posting wine selfies every hour on Facebook and got some laughs while probably also ruining my career. Also I haven't worn a bra for almost 48 hours and can fart whenever I want so basically I won the blizzard.

Added more whipped cream vodka to my Nutella hot chocolate. Can you microwave a drink with alcohol in it? Let's find out.

Well, nothing exploded so I guess you can. Unless I die later. I mean, like, sooner-later. I will die later, but hopefully like many-years-kinda-later.

I just showed Jack a video with meowing cats. He had no reaction. Goddammit, Jack.

There are so many pictures of snow and alcohol and pets and selfies on Facebook this weekend, yet I still think posting mine is somehow interesting. I'm convincing myself I'm just taking part in the community. The snowmunity. The communiblizzard. This is why people get pregnant during snowstorms.

My goal for today is to start a trending hashtag on Instagram. Let's make #stripblizzard happen. I wonder if people are jealous of how creative I am.

Should I watch a movie? I don't have Netflix. I think I'm the only person left who doesn't have Netflix. Does that make me cool or a loser?

I don't think any of this is funny. Maybe I should just delete this whole thing.

There should be an online version of Cards Against Humanity. My cat won't play. Plus I don't have the cards.

I could masturbate right now. Or any time. Since I live by myself.

Don't drink and blog, kids. Or do. It's your life.

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