Nuance and Neuroses

Note: Names have been changed to protect the innocent and promote alliteration. Dating site: Match.com Fake name : Connor Age : 31 Job : Some sort of psychologist, works with kids. Has a PhD. Appearance : Way tall. Like a full foot taller than me. Okay-looking, nothing special. Dark hair and very round-framed glasses. Location : The city. I live in the suburbs. I am no city girl, though I am getting better at it. Time : Late August Connor's profile was nothing special, but from his pictures (most of which were far away... see I WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE ) I wasn't repulsed, so I sent him a quick message. He responded flirtily, making a joke about my user name (still TheEditrix at the time). I returned with some questions about him, his job, etc. since I still knew so little about him. Rather than answering any of my questions, he said he would rather tell me in person and that we should talk on the phone. I thought that was very abrupt, as I like to see if a guy ...

The first phone call is a big thing for me. Before I tried online dating, I never realized how much a guy's voice mattered. I'm usually more of a visual person than an auditory person, but a guy's voice is a big factor in determining if I'm attracted to him or not. When you meet someone (you know, in the normal way), you meet the entire package... looks, mannerisms, behavior, voice are all bound into one identity. It's hard to separate components of someone's personality. The only time a voice is really noticeable by itself is if there is a huge discrepancy between looks and voice. Like if a big burly guy has a high, squeaky voice, or if a buxom blonde has a tinny, whining voice (a la The Man With Two Brains ). But when you meet someone online, you don't get the whole picture all at once. You get a picture, a few if you're lucky, and a few paragraphs about him, or at least how he has chosen to portray himself. It tells you some superficial information...